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A few Man U jokes I found. I like the birth control one :laugh::laugh::laugh:
Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What's the difference between a female Manchester United Fan and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.
Q: What do you call 20 Manchester United Fans skydiving from an aeroplane?
A: Diahorrea.
Q: If you see a Manchester United Fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a Manchester United Fan from Manchester, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a £50 note. Who gets it ?
A: The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.
Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: What is black and brown and looks good on a Manchester United Fan?
A: A Doberman.
Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United Fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Manchester United Fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What do Manchester United Fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester United Fan.
You have a gun with two bullets.
What should you do?
A: Shoot the United Fan..... Twice.
Q: What is the difference between a Manchester United Fan and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
Q: What do you call 5000 dead Manchester United Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What's the difference between a female Manchester United Fan and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.
Q: What do you call 20 Manchester United Fans skydiving from an aeroplane?
A: Diahorrea.
Q: If you see a Manchester United Fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a Manchester United Fan from Manchester, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a £50 note. Who gets it ?
A: The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.
Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: What is black and brown and looks good on a Manchester United Fan?
A: A Doberman.
Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United Fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Manchester United Fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What do Manchester United Fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester United Fan.
You have a gun with two bullets.
What should you do?
A: Shoot the United Fan..... Twice.
Q: What is the difference between a Manchester United Fan and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
Q: What do you call 5000 dead Manchester United Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!