[Matty The Ghost]

A few Man U jokes I found. I like the birth control one :laugh::laugh::laugh:



Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What's the difference between a female Manchester United Fan and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.

Q: What do you call 20 Manchester United Fans skydiving from an aeroplane?
A: Diahorrea.

Q: If you see a Manchester United Fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a Manchester United Fan from Manchester, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a £50 note. Who gets it ?
A: The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.

Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What is black and brown and looks good on a Manchester United Fan?
A: A Doberman.

Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United Fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Manchester United Fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What do Manchester United Fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester United Fan.
You have a gun with two bullets.
What should you do?
A: Shoot the United Fan..... Twice.

Q: What is the difference between a Manchester United Fan and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

Q: What do you call 5000 dead Manchester United Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

 

[TommyGunn]

LMAO. :laugh:

The game is just about to start. You watching Matty?

CMON UNTITED !!!!!

 

[Matty The Ghost]

Nah man Im at work still. Ill catch the second half when I get home. I dont care who wins really. Maybe Manchester since I have heard of them... Have you ever seen the movie Green Street Hooligans? A pretty good watch about soccer(football) fans.

 

[Rotten Apple]

Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester United Fan.
You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

A: Shoot the United Fan..... Twice.

That had me laughing pretty hard

 

[prettyboywho]

Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester United Fan.
You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

A: Shoot the United Fan..... Twice.

That had me laughing pretty hard

Me too thats the funniest 1

 

[NFFC]

LOL at the jokes. And although i'm a Forest fan first, i hate man u so C'MON CHELSEA - and shame at Man U for dominating the first half and only being 1-1 :laugh: :laugh:

 

[Matty The Ghost]

BoxingForum.com This Time Every Day

 

[SugarShane]

United had no business winning that game. That was like the super bowl where the better team lost. I'm just glad that douche Ronoldo missed. One more thing. Soccer players are the biggest pu$$ies of all time. Watching them flail around on the ground when nothing happened made me sick. Soccer is a great game, but that takes away from how smooth it is.

 

[C.J.Rock]

United had no business winning that game. That was like the super bowl where the better team lost. I'm just glad that douche Ronoldo missed. One more thing. Soccer players are the biggest pu$$ies of all time. Watching them flail around on the ground when nothing happened made me sick. Soccer is a great game, but that takes away from how smooth it is.

Soccer , actually its the real football, is certainly no games for P's.
I wont type the word as I dont want any warnings or infractions. The original game was played with 12 players on each team 11 playing and 1 reserve. those guys ran for 90 mins there were no time outs only one substitution could be made to bring the reserve on and that was it.
The game was spoiled when the south americans and the US became interested and changed the rules. I still think the penalty shoot out to settle a drawn game is ludicrous
s

 

[TysonJones]

I love playing soccer, but I will admit alot of the guys are p*ssy's that play it. I hate watching soccer tho, extremely boring. Slidetackling, getting into scuffles on the fields, getting thrown out for threatening the ref, all great memories.

 

[SugarShane]

Soccer , actually its the real football, is certainly no games for P's.
I wont type the word as I dont want any warnings or infractions. The original game was played with 12 players on each team 11 playing and 1 reserve. those guys ran for 90 mins there were no time outs only one substitution could be made to bring the reserve on and that was it.
The game was spoiled when the south americans and the US became interested and changed the rules. I still think the penalty shoot out to settle a drawn game is ludicrous
s

The guys flopping around when nobody touches them is pathetic though. IMO if you fake an injury, notice the ref isn't having it, and then hop up as if nothing happened you should be stabbed in the face. Twice. For being ultra-lame. And what is the deal with wagging your finger at somebody else? That was making me laugh my ass off.

 

[Violent Demise]

Fukk soccer. It's gay

 

[C.J.Rock]

LOL at the jokes. And although i'm a Forest fan first, i hate man u so C'MON CHELSEA - and shame at Man U for dominating the first half and only being 1-1 :laugh: :laugh:

COME ON YE SPURS

White Hart Lane is the ground for the best team around and to see them just fills you with wonder

 

[Icantbox]

I got thrown out of little league baseball for throwing my bat at the pitcher.

 

[SugarShane]

Hahahahaha. Did it connect?

 

[TysonJones]

Thats what im talk about, gotta livin up these other sports.

 

[dsr]

There was a decent knock out the last time the two of them played:

YouTube - Nemanja Vidic Knocked Out - Chelsea vs Man United

 

[Icantbox]

Hahahahaha. Did it connect?

I one hopped it into his ankles. Winged it pretty good.

It was his fault anyways. Stupid tool threw three pitches that would have hit my head if I hadn't of ducked. He got what he deserved.

 

[SugarShane]

I'd have most likely left him a dumpster somewhere with his fingers cut off and teeth pulled. Let me know if you want him clipped.

 

[Icantbox]

I'd have most likely left him a dumpster somewhere with his fingers cut off and teeth pulled. Let me know if you want him clipped.

I was twelve. i didn't become REAL vengeful until i was thirteen.